This is just gonna be another naggy random entry.
Hais, I know some things are better left unsaid but if i dont say it, i am just torturing myself.
It seems that marcus and me are loving one moment, and the next, we would be quarrelling like crazy. I feel like im his spare. Whenever his friends are not free to accompany him or he is bored, he would think 'oh, nvm.. still got samantha'. Im always the last to come into his mind. Whenever he is bored, he would call all his friends before calling me. Whenever he goes out late at night and misses his last bus, he would call all his friends and ask if he could stay over for the night, and if none is available, its okay, ' CALL SAMANTHA'.
Today, my mom called the aircon men to come over to change our aircons, so my mom asked me to ask marcus over to accompany me so that there would at least be a guy in the hse rather than only just 4 girls. At first, the aircon men said that they would be coming on monday, so i asked marcus if he could stay over on sunday. He said yes but he had to guai guai stay at home for 2 days to please his ah mah, but last minute, the aircon pple changed it to today, which is wednesday..So he went to stay over at his friends house on sunday instead of mine. Tht sunday was the day i was so so sick and yet he wasnt there for me at all, except for the time he send me home. Anyways, I asked him to stay over on tuesday. He said okay. But yesterday, last minute, he suddenly remembered it was enoch`s bday, so he went down to town to accompany enoch. We quarrelled and i told him i didnt want him to come over to my house anymore, and he really didnt come. No words can describe the amount of disappointment i have for him. Throughout the whole night yesterday, i was wishing deep down in my heart, hoping that he would catch the last train and surprise me, but he didnt. So in the end, he told me he would come to my house early in the morning, 6plus 7plus. I said ok. I slept at 4-ish and i woke up at 7+ 8 and asked him where he was, he said at enoch`s house. I called a couple of times and he got irritated with me. In the end, he came at 10plus. He came, asked me to cook food for him, ate, and went to sleep. He woke up at 6+ and told me he was hungry, i heated some food up for him while he went to bathe. He ate, changed, and left. I only had so little time with him today. Hais..
Now, he says he needs to go to town. He said he had dunno wad daiji. I asked if he was going to ton and he said no, he said he had to go home because later his ah mah not happy and now, his HP batt is flat, and there`s no way i can contact him. I thought he would catch the last bus home so i msged enoch ard 11.30 and asked if marcus was still with him. And he was. Marcus called me with cedric`s phone and i asked him why isnt he going home yet. He said he NOT GOING HOME SO EARLY. I really dont understand why he keeps lying to me nowadays. He says he doesnt treat me as a spare, but why do i feel like im one?
Even when i was at my weakest, when i was so sick and needed him by my side, he wasnt there. Yet when he was sick, i was always by his side. I turned the fridge upside down just to look for strepsils for him. I help him to pour water whenever he wants it and when he had a bad cough, i helped him pat his chest to relieve the pain from it. Wad about me? When i was sick, he only asked if i was feeling better.. only asked me to drink more water, dont eat this, dont eat that. Why cant he show me his care through his actions? Im really so sad. Whenever he is with his friends, he treats me like dirt. He scolds me all sorts of things infront of his friends, degrades me calling me a bitch/whore, asking me to fuck a dog/cat. I am a girl and i do have limits to my emotions. I may be stronger than other girls but that doesnt mean i dont break down easily too. But yet when it is just me and him alone, he treats me like his little princess, being ever so sweet to me. It seems that after he has done the sweetest thing to me and make me feel loved all over again, he would turn around and say things and do things that he knows would cause alot of hurt to me. Is love a game we`re playing ? He mends my heart and break it, mends it and breaks it..and yet, one sweet thing he does can cover all the horrid thing he have said to me. Hais.. im so confuseddd!
My heart hurts from all the pain he have inflicted on it ( ::"-":: )
Hais, I know some things are better left unsaid but if i dont say it, i am just torturing myself.
It seems that marcus and me are loving one moment, and the next, we would be quarrelling like crazy. I feel like im his spare. Whenever his friends are not free to accompany him or he is bored, he would think 'oh, nvm.. still got samantha'. Im always the last to come into his mind. Whenever he is bored, he would call all his friends before calling me. Whenever he goes out late at night and misses his last bus, he would call all his friends and ask if he could stay over for the night, and if none is available, its okay, ' CALL SAMANTHA'.
Today, my mom called the aircon men to come over to change our aircons, so my mom asked me to ask marcus over to accompany me so that there would at least be a guy in the hse rather than only just 4 girls. At first, the aircon men said that they would be coming on monday, so i asked marcus if he could stay over on sunday. He said yes but he had to guai guai stay at home for 2 days to please his ah mah, but last minute, the aircon pple changed it to today, which is wednesday..So he went to stay over at his friends house on sunday instead of mine. Tht sunday was the day i was so so sick and yet he wasnt there for me at all, except for the time he send me home. Anyways, I asked him to stay over on tuesday. He said okay. But yesterday, last minute, he suddenly remembered it was enoch`s bday, so he went down to town to accompany enoch. We quarrelled and i told him i didnt want him to come over to my house anymore, and he really didnt come. No words can describe the amount of disappointment i have for him. Throughout the whole night yesterday, i was wishing deep down in my heart, hoping that he would catch the last train and surprise me, but he didnt. So in the end, he told me he would come to my house early in the morning, 6plus 7plus. I said ok. I slept at 4-ish and i woke up at 7+ 8 and asked him where he was, he said at enoch`s house. I called a couple of times and he got irritated with me. In the end, he came at 10plus. He came, asked me to cook food for him, ate, and went to sleep. He woke up at 6+ and told me he was hungry, i heated some food up for him while he went to bathe. He ate, changed, and left. I only had so little time with him today. Hais..
Now, he says he needs to go to town. He said he had dunno wad daiji. I asked if he was going to ton and he said no, he said he had to go home because later his ah mah not happy and now, his HP batt is flat, and there`s no way i can contact him. I thought he would catch the last bus home so i msged enoch ard 11.30 and asked if marcus was still with him. And he was. Marcus called me with cedric`s phone and i asked him why isnt he going home yet. He said he NOT GOING HOME SO EARLY. I really dont understand why he keeps lying to me nowadays. He says he doesnt treat me as a spare, but why do i feel like im one?
Even when i was at my weakest, when i was so sick and needed him by my side, he wasnt there. Yet when he was sick, i was always by his side. I turned the fridge upside down just to look for strepsils for him. I help him to pour water whenever he wants it and when he had a bad cough, i helped him pat his chest to relieve the pain from it. Wad about me? When i was sick, he only asked if i was feeling better.. only asked me to drink more water, dont eat this, dont eat that. Why cant he show me his care through his actions? Im really so sad. Whenever he is with his friends, he treats me like dirt. He scolds me all sorts of things infront of his friends, degrades me calling me a bitch/whore, asking me to fuck a dog/cat. I am a girl and i do have limits to my emotions. I may be stronger than other girls but that doesnt mean i dont break down easily too. But yet when it is just me and him alone, he treats me like his little princess, being ever so sweet to me. It seems that after he has done the sweetest thing to me and make me feel loved all over again, he would turn around and say things and do things that he knows would cause alot of hurt to me. Is love a game we`re playing ? He mends my heart and break it, mends it and breaks it..and yet, one sweet thing he does can cover all the horrid thing he have said to me. Hais.. im so confuseddd!
My heart hurts from all the pain he have inflicted on it ( ::"-":: )
posted by Samantha at
9:02 AM
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